(no subject)

[dr_daniel_jackson]

It was three days after Daniel had been admitted to the hospital and Dr. Stevens had said he could be released that morning. He looked over at the cot where Methos lay sleeping and smiled to himself. The man had not once left his side since his arrival. It gave Daniel hope that maybe they'd work things out again. He thought of where they might go because Daniel didn't think he could go back to his apartment given that Methos had killed Jack there. He'd actually been looking to buy a house up in the mountains and wondered if he could convince Methos to stay with him there if he did so...

He was brought out of his thoughts as the door to his room opened and Dr. Stevens walked in, holding all of the paperwork that needed to be signed before Daniel could leave. The doctor glanced over at Methos and then at Daniel.

"Shall I wake him or did you want to do that?"

Comments

[really-oldguy.livejournal.com]

Methos stirred at the extra voice in the room. He stretched sitting up and rubbing at his eyes, "Good morning, doctor."

[dr-dmjacksonsg1.livejournal.com]

"Ah! He wakes on his own," the doctor teased with a smile. "Good morning to you as well, Dante. Well, today is the day then. I have come with Ibraham's release papers as well as the approved diet for him to follow until I see him again in six weeks to see how he is progressing." He hands the paperwork to Methos and then looks back at Daniel.

"Now listen to what I'm saying, young man," he said somewhat sternly. "Whoever it was that did these things to you, I sincerely hope they are no longer involved in our life from this point forward. You could have easily died had not your partner found you and brought you in when he did. You will be recovering for quite some time, physically as well as emotionally. Would you like the name of a psychologist to talk with?"

Daniel quickly shook his head; almost too quickly, as if just the thought of such a person terrified him. Dr. Stevens' gaze narrowed slightly but he didn't argue.

"Well, if you change your mind, my office and cell numbers are on those papers. You, my young patient, are a free man as of now. Do try to stay healthy and I shall see you in six weeks." He shook hands with them both and then left the room. Daniel was still trying not to have a panic attack from the mention of seeing a shrink.

"Can... can we go now?" he pleaded softly, though he wasn't even sure where they would go.

[really-oldguy.livejournal.com]

Methos nodded, watching him carefully.

"Yes, we can go." he stood up, gathering his and Daniel's things.

He went over to a wheel chair rolling it over to the bed and helped Daniel get into it.

[dr-dmjacksonsg1.livejournal.com]

Daniel moved to sit in the wheelchair, giving a soft sigh of relief.

"We'll have to find a hotel or something," he said quietly. "I don't think we should go back to my apartment... just in case..."

[really-oldguy.livejournal.com]

"Of course... and I cleaned up already. The night before you woke up." he said, quietly rolling Daniel to the hotel exit.

[dr-dmjacksonsg1.livejournal.com]

"Okay," he said softly. "Then I guess we can go back there."

They got to the car and Daniel was quiet on the drive back to the apartment and even more so once they got inside the apartment. Daniel wrapped his arms around himself, wandering through the room.

"I found more of your things at my parents' museum," he finally said quietly. "Most of it is here. I'm still waiting one a few more things to ship. I told myself I'd find everything I could and hide it, protect you... or, protect your memory, that is."

[really-oldguy.livejournal.com]

Methos nodded sadly, not wanting to tell him he hadn't needed to do that. He'd been grieving him. It made sense.

He started to collect some of Daniel's things throwing them in a sack he'd brought from his car, "We can't stay long. I don't know if someone might be here looking for you."

[dr-dmjacksonsg1.livejournal.com]

Daniel walked into his bedroom and grabbed two bags, stuffing clothes into them both. The clothing Amanda had bought him he'd left in Morocco thinking that, at some point, he would have back... but not now... probably not anytime soon.

With two bags packed, Daniel shouldered them both and walked out to the living area once more, looking almost shyly at his lover.

"I've got my clothing. Your things are in the closet... or we can leave them here for now and come back for them later..."

[really-oldguy.livejournal.com]

"No, I'll get them now." he handed him the key, "Go ahead and put your bags in the car."

Methos headed to the bedroom for his things and quickly grabbed the various items from the closet, putting them in a duffel he grabbed from the bottom of the closet. Then he made his way tot he car and Daniel.

[dr-dmjacksonsg1.livejournal.com]

Daniel had his bags in the trunk of the car and was sitting in the passengers seat, waiting quietly for Methos.

When he saw his lover he again looked away almost shyly from him.

"Where... where are we going?" he asked quietly.

[really-oldguy.livejournal.com]

"No idea." Methos answered honestly, as he pulled out of the driveway, "We can stay at a hotel tonight, then we'll figure it out in the morning."

[dr-dmjacksonsg1.livejournal.com]

"Okay," Daniel answered as he turned to stare out the passenger's window. They drove not too long before Daniel pointed out a nice looking hotel.

"We can go there," he said softly. "I've stayed there before. They have a suite that's a nice size. I can charge the room to my off shore account..."

[really-oldguy.livejournal.com]

He pulled into the hotel, "I'll charge it to my account, I'd feel safer that way."

Methos felt a bit of an awkward silence between them as he parked the car. He stepped out of the car and grabbed a bag of things and went to check in, "I'll be right back."

[dr-dmjacksonsg1.livejournal.com]

Daniel nodded and waited for Methos to return. When the older man did so, Daniel grabbed his own bags and followed Methos to the suite they would be staying in. Once inside, he set his bags down and walked over to the large picture window, opening the drapes only a little so that he could look outside, hearing Methos move around behind him.

[really-oldguy.livejournal.com]

He put his things away in silence and then looked to Daniel standing at the window. There was something he'd been meaning to ask since the hospital.

"Daniel?" he asked questioningly, his voice soothing, "Why don't you want to speak to a psychiatrist?"

[dr-dmjacksonsg1.livejournal.com]

Daniel sighed softly. He knew his lover would want answers.

"Several years ago, I had a problem in which the government doctors decided I had multiple personality disorder and they locked me up in a padded room, wrapped in a restraining coat. No one believed me when I said I was fine. I haven't trusted psychiatrists at all since then."

[really-oldguy.livejournal.com]

"I've been a psychiatrist... do you trust me?" he wrapped his arms around his waist.

[dr-dmjacksonsg1.livejournal.com]

"With my life," Daniel whispered softly, letting his hands rest against Methos' arms. "I'm not sure how to talk about what happened," he admitted softly. "I'm afraid of upsetting you... afraid that you will see me as something fragile and weak and that you will not want to stay. My self confidence is shot right now... and my sanity is just hanging by a thread. If you hadn't returned when you did..." He trails off, feeling tears fall down his face.

[really-oldguy.livejournal.com]

He pressed his lips on the back of his head, "You can tell me anything, Daniel. The only people I'll be upset with are the ones that have done this to you. Just... you need to tell someone, Daniel. If you don't feel comfortable telling me... you need to find someone. Or it won't get better... all that pain you're feeling will just remain and fester."

[dr-dmjacksonsg1.livejournal.com]

Daniel nodded slowly and was quiet for a few more minutes before speaking again.

"The doctor was right... I was tortured. They beat me, burned me with cigarettes... they even used a car battery and cables to try and make me talk and tell them what they wanted to know. When none of those things worked, they began to withhold food and water both. Then it was sleep deprivation. The day you showed up, I knew they'd come back for me and, if I didn't cooperate, they'd finally just kill me..."

[really-oldguy.livejournal.com]

He pulled him closer, "All this... just to get you to ascend?"

Methos wanted to find every single person that had touched Daniel and make them play with their heads.

[dr-dmjacksonsg1.livejournal.com]

Daniel nodded, brushing away the tears on his face as he relaxed a little more into his lover's hold.

"I had already decided, before you showed up, that if it started up again, I'd kill myself and not give them anything. I couldn't take the torture for much longer. Then too... you saw how sick I was getting by the time you came..."

[really-oldguy.livejournal.com]

He nuzzled Daniel's neck, silent for a moment, "I'm so sorry, Daniel... if I could find a way to take it all away, I would."

[dr-dmjacksonsg1.livejournal.com]

"It's not your fault, Methos. Please... don't apologize. You didn't know. There was no way you could have known. And there's no way to say that it wouldn't have happened even if you'd still been around." he turned in Methos' embrace and pressed his face into the side of his lover's neck, just holding there for the moment, breathing in the scent he remembered and relaxing even a little more.

"All that matters to me is that you're here now..."

[really-oldguy.livejournal.com]

He still felt at fault, despite Daniel's words. Methos held him tight, still reassuring himself that the younger man was there. His voice was soft and pained, "When I got you to the hospital... I thought... I thought you were going to die."